Tony is a well-know life coach, who has reached more than 50 million people with his books and videos. Another 4 million people have attended his live seminars.
People come to Tony for help transforming their body, increasing their income, improving their relationships, or mastering some achievement.
However, underneath it all, Tony believes that what people really need is a life that is about more than just themselves. There is only so much happiness we can get from food, entertainment, or any other pleasure. When we have a beautiful experience, the first thing we want to do is share it with someone we love. This is because we are wired to connect, and sharing the experience magnifies it.
Tony has found that most of us have a belief that we are not enough in some area of our life. We are not smart enough, young enough, thin enough, rich enough, funny enough, or something enough. That belief leads to the feeling that “I won’t be loved,” and it is a painful feeling because love is the oxygen of life.
Tony says that worry and stress are also common. This is because human brain evolved to help us survive, and it is always looking for threats. It doesn’t have a saber tooth tiger to worry about anymore. Instead it worries about things like “How do I look? or “What do people think of me?”
When you are in a negative emotional state, you can’t solve problems or improve your life. When you are angry or depressed, you don’t have good relationships. When you are worried or stressed, you can’t solve problems. When you feel guilty because you didn’t do enough, you don’t have the energy to make changes, and it takes high energy to make changes. However, when you are in positive emotional states like love, creativity, or gratitude, you can find solutions.
Tony shared a meditation that he uses to help people get into a positive emotional state so that they can solve problems. Here are the steps:
- Think of an unresolved issue in your life – something that is really bothering you. (Examples would be a health concern, a relationship situation, or a problem at work.)
- Then think of one thing in your life that you are really grateful for. Something that is a beautiful blessing in your life. (Examples might include a special event, or your children’s faces.) Focus on it and enjoy it thinking about it. Really take it in.
- Repeat this process with two other things you are grateful for.
- In this positive state of gratitude, think of the problem that is bothering you.
- Complete these sentences: All I need to remember is . . .? All I need to focus on is . . .? All I need to believe is . . .? All I need to do is . . .?
- Solutions will come to you.
This exercise works because it is impossible to be in a state of gratitude and a negative emotional state at the same time!
Tony had a lot more helpful suggestions. You can watch the whole video at Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday Facebook page, or on her youtube channel.